The Glint In Their Eyes
by moonlitwanderer
Summary: Tragedy strikes after Merlin and Morgana's magic reveal goes wrong- is better than it sounds trust me! Please don't forget to review :)
1. More weight on my shoulders

**A/N- here's a new story, please don't forget to leave a comment, follow, favourite etc if you like it. Thanks for reading, enjoy :)**

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"Wakey, wakey, rise and shine! You want to enjoy the day after your birthday, don't you?" Merlin bellowed in his annoying sing-song voice. Just what I needed. My good-for-nothing servant prised the curtains from each other and poured blinding sunlight into my room. He even knew that I went to my birthday feast the night before and that I didn't want to be awoken until at least midday. But no. Merlin just had to rub my hangover in my face.

"Shut up, Merlin!" My head pounded and I immediately regretted shouting that. As if rubbing my head would make things better I did, but it didn't help- in fact it made things a whole lot worse. Merlin sighed. "What's wrong now?" I asked, tired of him already and I'd only seen him for- what?- one minute?

"You know, you could treat me a bit better," he commented wearily. I turned to look at him sleepily. "I woke up before dawn this morning so that I could clean this floor and then run around after your gigantic backside."

"Merlin, I'm going to pretend you never said that because, quite frankly, I could get another servant instead of you. One that could work harder, be cheaper and annoy me less. Honestly, I don't know why I put up with you." He just carried on- totally ignoring my comment.

"Look at the way Morgana treated Gwen," he said. Silently I hung my head, remembering Gwen. A tear dropped down my face. It quickly disappeared as I realised that I wasn't supposed to be soft. I am the prince, after all. "I would much rather be Morgana's servant than yours."

"We all know that, Merlin. Well I do anyway." I sighed. It had been two weeks since they started seeing each other secretly in the woods. I was out hunting and came across them sitting together by a stream, holding each other's hands. Morgana swore that if I told anyone then she would kill me herself. I don't doubt her. Merlin hadn't been hiding the fact that he was a love struck puppy-not really engaging in the chores that I set him, rather staring at nothing in particular with a vague smile on his face.

"Yeah..." he trailed off. "I'm going to see Morgana this afternoon in the woods. Please can you cover for me if Gaius asks where I am?""

"So Gaius still doesn't know," I sighed. "He will find out one day, you know, and then you'll have a lot to answer for."

"I know. I just know he won't approve of me if he knows I'm with the Lady Morgana," he chuckled and smiled.

"You are so pathetically in love!" I laughed and threw a cushion at him. He caught it and forcefully threw it back and before long we were having a pillow fight like little infants. I smiled and remembered what it was like when I was little with no cares in the world- the weight of Camelot rested on someone else's shoulders.

A knock on the door brought us back to our senses. I quickly shoved a shirt on and the pulled trousers up that Merlin handed to me.

"Come in," I called. Morgana entered and rushed over to Merlin to give him a hug. He blushed over her shoulder and I raised my eyebrows at him awkwardly. Why did they have to hug in my chambers? Couldn't they go to hers? She gave him a peck on the cheek and his ear turned the shade of a beetroot. I chuckled

"What?" Morgana asked. She hated being the subject of a joke, even if it was just me that got it.

"Nothing. It's just you two. You're just so... mushy. Anyway, I'm glad you get along."

"So you should be. I actually came to remind you not to tell Uther about us." So there were two people I had to lie to for the sake of love. She frowned at me, giving me her warning look. "You know all too well what he'll do if he finds out about us."

Sadly I do. Gwen got killed because Uther couldn't come to terms with the fact that I loved her. I still love her. There will never be another like Gwen. A heart of gold. A mind of peace. Honest, brave, loving, sincere; I could go on forever. A wave of guilt washed over me so I sat down on the bed with my head in my hands. Morgana realised the impact of what she said and rushed over to me, curling her arms around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No, it's alright. I needed reminding. For a second I forgot what it was like to have lost somebody. To be stained by blood. Her honey coloured eyes had melted away and they need to stay in my vision. Obviously Merlin means a lot to you and I still need a servant so I won't tell Father. No." I wept silently as Morgana thanked me and retreated to Merlin, burying her tear stained face in his chest. His arms wrapped round her as he planted a kiss on her head. I could see how much they needed each other. Then, more than ever, it was important to keep their secret from the ears of Uther and the dangers that someone might face if my tongue slipped. A lot of pressure rode on me doing my job properly.

"We'd better go," Morgana smiled sympathetically. "We'll leave you alone now."

"Is there anything else you need, my lord?" Merlin asked. He was so loyal to me, yet I couldn't help but think that our friendship had drifted apart since Morgana stepped in.


	2. Two And Two Together

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! Thanks to everyone who's followed, favourited and reviewed- please keep doing so, and I don't own Merlin! Enjoy :)**

It was nearly dark and neither of them had returned from the forest. My socks needed cleaning and my armour needed polishing- Merlin promised he'd be back- the _idiot_. I thought he'd probably got them lost or something. However, I was starting to worry. Father would suspect something when Morgana didn't turn up for dinner later and would notice that Merlin had gone too. He wasn't stupid and could put two and two together. I had to go and find them, before it was too late.

I rushed to the stables and took out a horse, slung myself onto the saddle and galloped away, leaving an echo of hooves behind in the eerily silent courtyard. The evening drizzle started to soak me; it was the worst kind of rain, I remember- so soft yet cold and soaking. After a while I reached the stream where I saw them last time. I climbed off my horse, stepping down into a still-lit fire. I screamed as it burnt my foot even through my thick leather boots. _They must still be around here somewhere. Maybe they're hurt or kidnapped. Or this could be a trap._ I sighed- I would have to risk it- they were my two best friends in the world (although I didn't like to admit it) and some bandits weren't going to stop me from rescuing them.

"Merlin! Morgana!? Are you there? I know you're there." My voice echoed around the forest and then silence. All I could hear was the rain dropping from the leaves and branches. It was dark then so I sat down next to the fire. They had got to be there somewhere and I couldn't just leave them. I jumped up as I heard a twig snap behind me and scuffling across the floor as someone rushed towards me in the autumn leaves. I reached for my trusty sword but felt warm hands clamp around my face. I dropped it, knowing that I was caught. I'd have to surrender.

"I come in peace. I'm just looking for my friends," Trying to convince this bandit to let go wasn't as easy as it sounded. Their grip was so tight I could see stars. I could also hear them trying to stifle laughter which I thought to be strange. "Is there something funny? I am Prince Arthur, you know. My father could get you killed." Their grip tightened around my eyes and I tried to wriggle free when another pair of arms held me firmly in place. "Look, we can come to an agreement. You can have the horse, and the fire and we can leave each other in peace. I have to find my friends, please! They're all I have." Maybe admitting that might have made a difference.

"Let go, Merlin," I heard a familiar voice- it was Morgana. _Oh the scheming devil_. I swore I would get her back for that. Merlin let go of me and she uncovered my eyes. They both burst out laughing, doubling over with tears streaming down their faces. I had to laugh too, mainly out of relief that I'd found them.

"Why didn't you come back to the castle?" I asked. They really did get me worried for a second.

"We have a surprise for you, Arthur, since it was your birthday yesterday and we can't not celebrate," Merlin smiled. He and Morgana glanced at each other and he winked at her.

"You two have surprised me enough in the past two weeks," I confessed to the lovers. "I didn't expect things to turn out as they did. So, tell me, what have you been doing all afternoon?" I stopped myself. "Wait, I don't even want to know." The two love-birds looked at each other and blushed. Now I _really_ didn't want to know.

"Now for the surprise," Merlin said excitedly. "Lie down on the blanket." I looked at the sodden blanket in disgust but I had to oblige to make them happy. They lay next to me and I could see that they were holding hands. I looked up and realised that we were in a clearing- a perfect circle. The stars glinted in the sky- seemingly winking at me as if they too knew the big surprise.

"Arthur, you're either going to love us or hate us for this, but we've got to confess something." I didn't know if I wanted to know this. If it was what they'd been doing, then no, but I was curious and nosy.

"What is it, Morgana, just spit it out- I'm getting wetter every second you wait." I turned on my side to look at them, willing them to get it over with.

They sat up, reached their hands to the sky and muttered something elaborate in unison. I saw their eyes glint golden and put two and two together- I wasn't stupid. This wasn't natural- it was magic. I instinctively backed away, not sure whether to trust them or not.

"You're sorcerers? I-I trusted you. I trusted both of you." I hastily ran back to the horse and galloped back to the castle as quick as possible- tears streaming down my face. _How could they not tell me before now?_ I'd thought we were friends- best friends- and they'd ruined it.


	3. Annoyance or Jealousy?

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! Enjoy :)**

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Once I was back in my warm chambers I undressed myself and flopped back onto the bed. I stayed awake as long as the infernal rain poured down onto the windows. I could hear twigs snap in the power of the wind and branches break from thunder. The weather perfectly reflected my mood.

Was it jealousy? Did I want to be part of their duo with magic too? I felt slightly left out; that I couldn't be the same as them. With all their knowledge they'd probably think I was stupid or something- which I very well was not.

Was I just annoyed? My two best friends had been meeting secretly over the past two weeks and I hadn't been there. If only Gwen was there. She would have known what to do. She'd tell me that they're still the same people inside. Or maybe that's just what I wanted to think. At the feast the night before I drank away my sorrows about Gwen and that morning I had forgotten all about her; I felt ashamed I even did that.

I spent all night- and many hours since- pondering what happened, eventually finding sleep. In my dreams I saw Gwen. She told me to trust the two of them, and to love them just as much as before- if not more so.  
"I know it's hard, Arthur. But remember that they still love you and that you're not alone. I am here and I love you more than ever before." Her voice echoed in my head as I woke up. I must make it up to them, I thought- after all they were trying to celebrate my birthday and I just shoved it away.

I pulled a shirt and trousers from the wardrobe both cleanly washed- the floors were clean, the windows were sparkling and everything was just as it should be. Merlin must have done a good job the day before. I smiled to myself and thought about just how loyal he was to me and how much I underestimated his worth. I decide to find him so I made my way down to Gaius' chambers. I knocked nervously on the hard door, unsure of what to say- I wasn't used to apologies. The door creaked open and Gaius peered around the corner.

"Hello? Oh, my lord! What do you wish of me today?" He smiled timidly. I hated it when people weren't themselves around me just because I was the prince. _One day I'll show them that I can be the same as them and I'm not a spoilt, arrogant brat..._

"Erm, is Merlin around please?" I tried to be polite; Gaius was one of my father's friends and I had to be careful what I said.

"Actually he isn't," Gaius replies. "He hasn't been back all night and I'm getting worried about him. Do you think you could find him?" I couldn't tell him where they were or that they were together or they would hate me even more than they already did.

"Yeah, I'll be right back when I see him. He's probably in the tavern isn't he?," I winked. Making excuses wasn't my forte but it would have to do. "He should know better by now, but there's a long list of jobs for him once he gets back. Thank you Gaius." He bowed and closed the door as I backed away. Great, so Merlin had done one of his disappearing acts- probably drunk in the side road for all I cared. I had to find Morgana and try and reason with her. I wandered through the corridors of the grand castle towards Morgana's chambers, taking my time so that I could prepare a speech of sorts. Finally I knocked on Morgana's door. No-one answered. I knocked again. I could hear weeping coming from the room though, and suspected it was Morgana.

"Morgana, I know you're in there," I shouted, using a less polite method with my childhood friend who knew me inside out. It seemed I didn't know her as well. "I can hear you crying." The door opened just a crack and I could see one of her blotchy eyes.

"Look I'm sorry, Morgana. I shouldn't have run away so soon like tha-"

"I hope you're proud of yourself," she yelled, cutting me off. "It's all your fault! All this is because of-"

"Whoa, slow down, Morgana. Please, let me in and we can talk about this." She studied me warily before widening the gap and letting me through. I strolled through the room and sat cross legged on her bed and she climbed on opposite me, like we used to when we were youngsters. She seemed to trust me a little bit more but I couldn't do anything to upset her.

"Look, I'm sorry about last night," I began my speech, knowing it would probably end in tears or something. "I, er, didn't mean to run away. I overreacted and shouldn't have shouted at you or Merlin. I should have just stayed and watched the celebration and now I've missed it. I have been pondering about this all night and words don't explain how sorry I am that I didn't get to see the surprise."

A ghost of a smile appeared on her face and she seemed to accept my apology, but I could tell there was still something troubling her. A tear escaped down her face and soon it transformed into sobs that racked her whole body. I drew her near to me, comforting her, but still not quite knowing what she was upset about. Jagged breaths slowly transformed into deep ones and when I let go she finally seemed ready to say something.

"It's Merlin. We still sat in the clearing hours after you had gone, pondering on what we'd done wrong. We were about to get up and leave- we shared our first kiss and I looked into his bright blue eyes and... And then it struck. A lightning bolt hit the tree above us. I- I tried screaming for help but it was no use. He's dead, Arthur." Another sob emitted from her but all I could do is stare at the ruffles of the blanket.

_Merlin's_ dead

Merlin's _dead_.


	4. Buttercups and Thorns

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! Please don't forget to comment, follow or favourite if you like it. I don't own Merlin! Enjoy :)**

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My body couldn't comprehend this; _he's dead? No, he can't be! He can't be dead, please no!_ A single tear torpedoed down my face, quickly followed by many others until my face was sodden with salty tears. My best friend was dead and it was all my fault; if I hadn't left in such a hurry then we could have avoided it- it could have been me instead. I would willingly sacrifice my life to save his. A sinking feeling that I'd never felt before glided down my body.

"Arthur? Arthur," Morgana tried to reason with me but even her soft voice and soothing words couldn't stop the tears from flowing. "I know it's hard. I've doubted too, but we've got to pull together- that's what he would have wanted, you know. I loved him as much as you did. I still love him. It's Gwen as well isn't it? I miss her too- more than you can imagine." There was a silence as we remembered all of the good times we'd had with Merlin and Gwen.

"Come on, Merlin, hurry up! Don't be a slow coach!" I tease as we run through the tall golden grass. Morgana and Gwen are far behind; laughing as they run, but I and determined to win this race. I sprint towards our tree at the other side of the field, legs and arms pumping and my heart pounding in my chest.

"I win!" I shout triumphantly as I touch the wrinkled trunk of our special oak tree and promptly collapse to the floor to get my breath back. Merlin follows seconds later and by the time Morgana and Gwen arrive we have regained our strength. "What did you manage to sneak out of the kitchens, Gwen?" I ask eagerly. The beautiful women smiles widely and chuckles.

"Bread, fruit and honey. In fact, there was a lot of honey so you'd better like it!" We all laugh and get stuck into the brilliant food in her picnic basket. Silence reigns as we enjoy the bread and honey, occasionally making a comment about how delicious it is.

After finishing, we lie on the ground in exhaustion, our bellies full of sweet food. Speckled leafy-green light rains down on us as we talk. We talk as good friends do. Not bothering about race or class but just getting on together as friends, at ease with one another, not bridling or seeking to impress or persuade. We don't speak of the kingdom –which I am glad about- but of other things; of flowers in the meadow and how Gwen knows the name of every single one. We speak of birds in the treetops and how Merlin can imitate all of their sweet tunes. Morgana can run her hands under a sleeping salmon and lift it, still sleeping, out of the river.

Gwen and Morgana rest their backs against the thick oak and start to make a chain of buttercups. Merlin and I gambol through the long grass playing childish games and shouting happily. The girls, seeing our fun, drop their chains and girly chat and run to join us and we laugh in the sun for many hours. Eventually, when we can take it no more, we sit back down and I pick up Gwen's finished buttercup chain and lay it gently on her head.

"A crown fit for the loveliest of women," I smile. Merlin mimes throwing up and Morgana chuckle at his cherade. For just a moment, it seems as if time stands still, the four of us in such harmony with each other and the world around us. I don't think I've ever been in such complete contentment. I don't think I ever will be as happy as I am again. I can't imagine life without them.

"What do you want to do?" Morgana's voice snapped me out of my reminiscence, bringing me back to the present.

"I want to see him," are the only words I could find to spit out. So we got up and, with Morgana leading the way, headed to the forest. My trembling body threatened to launch me off the horse as we plodded slowly into the woods. Birds high in the treetops sang sweetly and I remembered how Merlin knew every one of their calls. How could they act as if everything's fine, yet it is far from that? How could they rejoice when my best friend has died? Speckled golden sunlight hits me from beyond the canopy as we ride onwards towards last night's clearing- the same sun shone on that day many months ago. Any trace of last night's storm is gone by now.

As we neared the clearing I was unsure of whether I actually wanted to see my dead friend and I could see Morgana had second thoughts as well.

"Are you sure you want to go on?" she asked tentatively. I could sense she was reluctant to continue but I pushed onwards, knowing this was probably the last chance that I would be able to see my friend. I emerged into the clearing from the night before and swung down from my horse. Everything seemed so pristine and perfect like nothing could have happened there. But it did. And I could see the evidence in the form of a fallen tree.

To a traveller passing by it may have just seemed like a tree struck down by accident but to me it was a weapon used to kill my best friend. The traveller may have glanced at it and then carried on but I had to take step closer to see Merlin's frail body laid limp underneath the thick trunk. My heart sagged to see him there helpless and I wished even more I was there the night before to save him and didn't rush off. _I didn't even say goodbye_. I left him on a bad note and that's the way it was going to be forever. I knelt on the floor beside him and wept my heart out. A warm arm crept around my shoulders as Morgana joined me in my sorrows.


	5. Time to Tell the Truth

Since that day my life had been full of what if's. After Merlin's death Morgana wanted to see me even more for comfort. She sought to talk with me about him every day as we still couldn't bring ourselves to tell Gaius exactly what had happened to him. We said Merlin was on a trip to see his mother and that he might be some time but the excuse changed every day.

But however much Morgana comforted me it never worked. As soon as she'd leave the room I'd burst out crying for no reason, sometimes I'd cry infront of her, but rarely. Nothing meant anything to me anymore- it was like my life had no purpose. I would spend days on end lying on my silk bed letting the new servant busy himself around me. It just wasn't right without Merlin.

"You have to cheer up, Arthur," as kind as she was, not even Morgana could tempt me back into reality with her soft words. "Merlin's gone but you must have had a life before him. You used to train the knights, remember? And you... did missions for Uther." She could see she wasn't convincing me. I just stared at the ceiling with a blank look on my face. "You're not even eating! You'll die Arthur, and then there will only be me left!" She began to cry at the thought of being alone. Only the fact that my childhood friend was unhappy brought me back to reality. She leaned her helpless head on my shoulders and I rested my cheek on her head. We sat like that for hours mourning the loss of our dear friend.

Suddenly I stood up, knowing I couldn't just sit there. Morgana shot up like a bullet, knowing too that we couldn't mourn forever. Merlin wouldn't have wanted that. He would have wanted us to get on with our lives and not dwell on our past mistakes.

"We've got to tell Gaius the truth," I decided and Morgana nodded in agreement. I looked at her dishevelled face with tear stains and lines of worry on her forehead and realised I made her that way- I was the cause of her grieving.

"You'd better wash your face, you look like a mess that's been thrown up on," Morgana laughed and I looked in the mirror- I really did.

"Ditto," I replied simply and we chuckled. It was the first time that I'd seen her smile since that night in the woods many months ago and I cherished the moment. We went to the wash basin and splashed cold water onto our blotchy faces to eliminate any sign that something was wrong when we walked through the castle.

"Are you alright, Morgana? You look a bit blotchy, like you've been crying," Sir Leon asked as we strolled past. So it didn't work. We tried to act casually, as if everything was normal, but it wasn't. "You too, Arthur. I know it's not my place but is there something you want to talk about?" He looked genuinely concerned for the two of us.

"Erm, no. We've not been crying, as such..." I turned to Morgana for help.

"Arthur's distressed because he is still wetting the bed," she smiled at me evilly as Leon masked his laughter with a cough. "We've been trying to find Gaius all afternoon, do you know where he might be?" Morgana finished without hesitating. The look I gave her was along the lines of: "Wetting the bed? Are you trying to embarrass me?"

"Erm... okay," Leon said stiffly, still trying to hide the grin I could see spreading across his face as he looked at me. "Gaius is probably in his chambers- he never leaves." He strolled between us and let out a high giggle before turning the corner.

"That was all you could think of? That I wet the bed?" I shouted a little too loudly. If my looks could kill then Morgana would be six feet underground. However, she seemed to find the little charade so hilarious that she doubled over laughing.

"You're face went the colour of a beetroot!" she managed to stammer. However furious I was, it was nice to see her smiling again. "Anyway, let's go." We straightened up a bit after that, preparing ourselves for what Gaius had in store.

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"He's what?"

I looked down at my mug of steaming brew and breathed in its sweet scent. Morgana seemed to think her nails were the most interesting thing in the world. I looked up from my mug around the old dusty room full of interesting and thought-provoking relics and ancient books before glancing at Gaius' heartbroken face.

"He- Merlin's... dead," I finally say, trying not to look the old man in the eyes. "He died weeks back; we just couldn't bring ourselves to tell you." Gaius looked at the floor and stared long and hard, pondering things in his head. "He got crushed by a falling branch; there was nothing Morgana could do to stop it. You must know that we've been mourning ourselves and it's only now that we have cleared up enough to tell you. We loved him as much as you d-"

"You could never love him as much as I do," Gaius whispered, still contented with the wooden floorboards. "I love him like a son, do you know how much that is? You don't, I suppose. The bond between us was unbreakable- he told me things that he could never tell you, he had sacrificed so much for us to come and live here. You don't know the full extent of how much he has done for you and you never will. You will never know how often he has put his neck on the line so that you could be the Once and Future King, Arthur. Storms would rage but he would always be there by your side, protecting you. And from what I heard from him, you never treated him well, either. Saying that, I wasn't as fair as I could be. I underestimated him and his destiny and treated him like the lousy servant he pretends to be, but do you know what? He is so much more than that. He is so much more." My heart filled with pride for my man-servant who had been loyal to me for so long, risked his life so many times and been the most important person in the universe yet acted like a dumb, stubborn servant. I wish I could have told him that I was proud. That I was sorry. And that I was thatnkful.


	6. A Change of Purpose

**A/N: thanks to everyone who's favourited, followed and reviewed- it means a lot, really! Please keep on doing so, and could you inform me of any typo's or anything like that? I'm kind of running out of ideas so you could give me few that I could weave into the storyline. Thank you very much for reading this- it means the world! Enjoy :)**

We left Gaius shortly after, unable to deal with the guilt that we'd laid upon him. We ran through the castle corridors, seeking a safe place where we could sit and think about whether we had done the right thing in telling him now rather than a month ago. I suppose sitting in the broom cupboard wasn't the best idea, looking back, but at the time it seemed like a safe, warm environment for us to weep and think together.

We ran down the corridor hand in hand- not that it meant anything. We were just like innocent children, not knowing the consequences of our actions, but there were. We found the cupboard easily and quickly crouched together, side by side, and cried until our eyes were like dull pebbles. Our hands intertwined with each other as we tried to feel some warmth after the loss of our two closest friends. Our foreheads rested against each other as we tried to think of what to do next- our lives had no specific meaning anymore, like the hope that there was something better had died long ago.

Suddenly, the door opened and Leon stood in the doorway, the light from the windows casting a dark shadow over us. Horror was etched on his face as well as a little embarrassment- he must have thought we were doing something else...

"This... isn't what it looks like, you have to understand, Leon," I tried to reason with him, but the shock never left his face. Morgana stared up at the muscular figure with wide eyes, scared of what he might tell Uther.

"I-I don't know what to say..." Leon managed to stutter. "You... she... I..." He couldn't properly form words and promptly left, redness slowly creeping into his cheeks. Morgana and I looked at each other, knowing what could happen now- we were together in a confined space holding hands with our faces close; I could see where Leon was coming from but he had judged too quickly.

"We have to get out of here!" I said and we legged it out of the dusty cupboard towards the main hall where I knew Leon would be on his way to. We had to get there before he did, so we ran as fast as we could, dodging servants with trays and knights in armour. My legs and arms pumping and my heart pounding took me back to that day by our tree and so many days like that when we raced towards the withered oak, hearts yearning for rest but striving on all the same. Back then we had nothing to fear but the cook's temper when she found out that we'd stolen food; now there was a greater risk involved- imprisonment or even execution.

We burst into the main hall as my father was holding a chicken drumstick in his leather-clad hand and a yellowed scroll in his right. He looked intrigued to know why we were bursting in on him like that and at such a fast rate.

"You do know you're not five years old anymore, don't you, Arthur?" he laughed out loud, thinking we were playing a game of tag or hide and seek. I had to laugh despite myself, only out of relief that we had beaten Leon to it, or had we?

"Has Leon been here?" I asked, still out of breath from our sprint around the maze of walls. "Has he told you anything? If he has, please don't take it literally."

"_Sir_ Leon hasn't been to inform me of anything, no," the king said curiously. The breath I didn't know I'd been holding escaped slowly as relief washed over me- we had beat Leon to it. "What would he have said anyway?" A searching look entered his silver eyes, piercing our hearts to find an answer.

"We were just... playing a game," Morgana piped up. I looked at her in confusion but she gave me a look which said 'just go with it'. "Leon's funny," we both laugh, a little too loudly to be casual. "We were talking normally and he decided he would spread rumours about us, that's all. It's a funny rumour," again we chuckled, toning it down slightly to be more realistic. "And we just wanted to make sure that you know it's not true, okay?"

The king nodded, still bemused by the fact that we were acting like children, like we did over ten years ago. "You may leave now. Have fun with your 'games'," he sneered after us as we strolled as casually as we could out of the door. Only to bump into Leon who gave us a cold stare and walked on by. I had to let a laugh slip and soon we were bent double, laughing out of relief and the fact that it was just so silly. Once we'd finally calmed down, Leon came out with a stony look on his face, obviously he'd embarrassed himself in front of the king. I grinned at Morgana and she smiled back- we'd remembered our lives and our purpose which was to be as childish as possible and to have fun!


	7. Betrayal

**A/N: Sorry about the wait! I was trying to think of something inbetween revision and homework but I hope you like the new perspective. This chapter is in Morgana's view and if you like it it might stay that way but please let me know! And PLEASE review- I absolutely love seeing how people feel about my stories! Thank you for reading! Enjoy :)**

Cool water splashes around my ankles as I walk through the shallow stream, urging Merlin to follow me. A loose stone slips from underneath me and I let out an involuntary scream before I'm caught by the surprisingly strong arms of Merlin.

"Are you alright, _my lady_?" he asks, scorn edging into his voice in the last two words. "We wouldn't want that dress to get wet, would we?" he adds mockingly. I swear if things were different, I'd have slapped him. Hard.

I spread my arms out elegantly to keep balance and hop, skip and jump the last few stones to the grassy bank on the other side. I hear a splash come from behind me and look around to see Merlin face-first in the river and I can't help but let out a chuckle. He looks up to see me grinning and smiles widely before pushing himself up from the muddy river bed and wading towards me, arms outstretched.

"You want a hug, do you?" Merlin runs towards me, dripping dirty water everywhere and I let out yet another involuntary scream. "I can see you do! Come on, Morgana, you know you want to!" Eventually I realise I do want a hug; even though it is a sopping wet, freezing bear hug. He buries his chin into my neck and I feel a wave of warmth flood over me even though the water is seeping through my velvet dress. When we eventually let go, his sodden face has transformed into a cheeky grin.

"Lesson four," he says and I listen intently, wanting to know more about the subject. "Water."

"So does this mean I get to dry off my clothes now?" I ask intently, wanting the cold water to leave my shivering body.

"Yes, but it can work the other way, too," he says with a mischievous look in his eye. "Cyningæðe sé amel áflíegung!" He points his hand to my dress and still, even after a long time, I am not used to the fact that Merlin is a sorcerer. The way his eyes glint like liquid gold still sends shivers down my spine. "Now you try it."

I lift my arm warily towards Merlin's shirt and look around to check if anyone has followed us, still unsure of whether this is the right thing. After all, I am the king's ward and I, above all people, should be aware of what he'd do if he found out that I am practicing magic. A deep breath enters my lungs and I copy the words Merlin said; a deep rasping sound flows out of my throat that I didn't know I had in there. My eyes briefly feel like they are on fire before looking down to see the water drying up from his body before my eyes.

It is such a relief to be able to channel my magic through my veins instead of it coming out in unexpected random bursts. I smile at Merlin and thank him for the millionth time for showing me magic. He returns the smile and I feel a warm fuzzy feeling inside of me that's just bursting to get out but I must harness my feelings. I sigh- he probably doesn't feel the same way.

Without warning, freezing water pours onto my head and I jump in shock then look around angrily to see who did this. Obviously, we are alone- it's Merlin. Sometimes I can see why Arthur gets annoyed by him so much- I could genuinely slap the man right now.

"How did you do that?" I shout angrily as I see Merlin bent over double, silently laughing through my dark dripping hair. "What words did you say?"

"Amel!" he manages to squeeze out as another torrent of water cascades down my dress. I glare at him, but now I know the spell- two can play at that game.

"Amel!" I shout loudly, wanting to work so badly now. And it does- sparkling water floods out of mid air and soaks his body from head to foot. I continue to throw the spell at him as more and more water falls down upon him. He looks up at me, the smile wiped off his face- this is personal now. He starts to throw many different enchantments at me- flies buzz around me and frog fall from the sky. I laugh as a donkey appears from nowhere and is immediately drenched by the first water curse.

After five minutes of me being pummelled by his spells and both of us being soaking wet we stop, unable to continue with laughing too much. Thunder claps behind us and I spin around to see an ominous raincloud looming over the two of us. I hear Merlin mutter a word that shouldn't be repeated before the rain sets in- torrents of raindrops hit our skin, washing off the slime and glitter from the fight earlier. I laugh in relief that I won't have to return to the castle in a complete state, yet we are in the middle of a thunder storm. I look to Merlin, seeing he's already taken cover underneath his coat- the lucky thing.

"Can I share it?" I shout over the thunder. He nods fervently and I run over to his as he wraps us both inside his coat. A sudden warmth rushes all over me and I rest my head against his chest to feel his heart pumping strongly beneath his shirt. I lift my head to see he is looking down at me with a... well I don't know what that look is. That same warm fuzzy feeling from earlier has returned but I don't know what to do with it- it won't pipe down and get lost, it won't fall in a hole, it just won't go away. And it only pops its head up when I'm around Merlin, strangely. I've never felt this before it's like... it's like... hot milk from the kitchens at bed time, the golden glow of the hearth at Christmas and the smell of long grass and buttercups. I sigh, not knowing what to do with this stray feeling.

Suddenly, I was yanked awake by none other than Arthur, the most annoying one. Did he always have to spoil my good dreams? I suppose it wasn't a dream, more a flashback of sorts- I can still remember that day as clearly as glass. After that we ran back to the castle and went our separate ways, no-one knew any different, but that fuzzy feeling still resided in me and always came back when Merlin was around. Later on I found that the feeling was love. Not the same love that I have for Arthur or Gwen but different. It was just a shame I found out too late, for Merlin anyway. I sighed.

"Thanks for ruining my dream, Arthur," I say, my voice laced with sarcasm. "I hardly ever get a good night's sleep anymore."

"It's important," Arthur said, urgency in his voice. "My father wants us both in his conference room straight away. He sounded rather impatient." I moaned as I was yanked from the bed and taken to the hall, stumbling in my sleep-deprived state.

"Do I not get time for my hair?" I asked vainly. "I need to look alright for this." Arthur sighed.

"I'm sure you'll be fine," he uttered as we strode into the hall, leaving the calm of the corridors and entering the panicked state of the hall.

"Morgana, nice of you to join us," I heard the sound of Uther's malicious voice silence the people in the room. "I've heard a lot about your antics in the woods, would you care to explain?" I looked up, suddenly wide awake as I stared around the room, seeing if someone's face looked guilty. Someone had betrayed me.


	8. The Hollow Silence

I felt my fingers uncontrollably tighten and clench together so that my nails dig deep into my palms, whether out of being scared out of my skin or angry at whoever betrayed me. The silence was overwhelming, it left me hollow in a way it had only done recently. I liked to be alone, to hear the silence of my room, just letting my thoughts wash over me in a peaceful way. I went out rarely, afraid of the hustle and bustle of busy people and the endless crowd following me, assaulting me with their shouts and screams. Days on end spent on my satin-dressed bed didn't help me when Merlin came along.

But Merlin himself helped me.

He showed me that being myself wasn't something to be afraid of. He was the one person I could be myself around and there was never a dull moment with him. He showed me how to live for myself, laugh with others and I suppose... I taught myself to love him. Silence never reigned between us and from then I was never scared of being in public. I never sectioned myself off from the hustle and bustle; rather I embraced it and became a busy person myself. However, since Merlin's death, silence made me feel hollow. It made me feel like I was being watched and I was so afraid of it. So, so afraid.

And now that the room was filled with silence it made me even more afraid. Uther's dull grey eyes search my face for any deviation in expression so I purse my lips and stare in his direction, trying to hide and emotions.

"I don't know what you mean," I say, sounding more sure of myself than I let on. "You must be mistaken, my lord." He gave me a questioning look before taking a deep breath.

"Morgana, you have been accused of witchcraft. Do you realise how serious this is?" Again his worn eyes searched me with a tired look. Arthur glared at me in contempt, but I didn't have any time for his distracting antics.

"This is absurd, your majesty!" I let a smile play on my lips and scorn come into my voice. "Are you questioning my loyalty to you? I am your ward, why would I do something like that when I know the consequences?" I tried to add and edge of hurt in there too; I knew Uther never wanted to see me in pain. A flicker of self-doubt crossed his usually emotionless eyes.

"Yes, yes you're right Morgana. How could I doubt your loyalty? I know you are a strong ally against magic," he said proudly and I smiled, keeping up the act. But inside I was laughing; me? An ally against magic? I'm a sorceress! I practise magic in the woods not a mile out of the walls of Camelot. I used to, anyway.

"And to anyone else who wants to accuse my ward falsely, there will be consequences," Uther stated dangerously. "Court dismissed." Most people left immediately, leaving me kneeling on the floor stunned at how easily I had gotten away with it. Hardly anyone gets away with magic. I already knew Uther had a soft spot for me, but a trial that should have taken half an hour resulted in a five minute check up.

A strong arm extended to my direction and I grabbed it, lifting myself up off Arthur's strength. "Thanks," I utter quietly, still reeling from the fact that someone had betrayed me. "I don't see who could have betrayed me. I mean, only Merlin, you and I knew. We hadn't told anyone else. I don't get it." I looked into his sky-blue eyes, searching for an answer, but he gave me none.

"It wasn't me, if that's what you're thinking," he said, matter-of-factly. "I was just as surprised as you were." However, as we walked out of the room and went our separate ways, I knew differently. The look of pure hatred on Arthur's face was plain to see. I simply couldn't let this go unnoticed.

**A/N: Sorry it's so short- I just haven't had the time to write anymore. Viewers make me smile and reviewers make my grin widen, so please PLEASE leave a comment, I don't care how short or long- it would make my day! Thank you :)**


	9. You Don't Belong

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews - please keep reviewing I love them! Here's the next chapter and I am so, so sorry that it's taken so long but I have lots of revision and homework to do, but thanks for being patient! Enjoy :)**

* * *

"You've been avoiding me, haven't you?" I asked, running to catch up with Arthur who was quite a way down the cold stone corridor. "You haven't spoken to me in days. We need to keep together or we'll lose our sanity." Unexpectedly, Arthur spun on his heel and faced me. His icy blue eyes penetrated my very soul, looking for answers.

"You denied my father," he said without emotion. "You lied in front of his very face after all he's done for you!" In shock, I stepped backwards, feeling threatened by the man I called my friend.

"I-I thought you understood," I managed to stutter. His eyes blazed with fury and rage. "You said my magic was behind us now. You said you wouldn't betray me. And it was you all along, I bet! I would wager that you told Uther about me like Daddy's Little Boy." I spat out the last words, shaming him. Yet it didn't seem to have an effect on Arthur's emotionless face.

"You're a sorceress. You have magic. You don't belong here," I shrank back as he sneered at me. I never knew Arthur to be as cold-hearted as he was that day. For the first time I was scared of Arthur Pendragon. "You've lived here all your life and you know the rules of Camelot - there can be no magic! Leave now, while you still have the chance or I'll summon the guards and you will be killed with immediate effect."

I stood stock still, mainly out of being paralysed with fear but a small part of me was blazing with defiance. "If I am to go down, I will go down for Merlin and all that we stand for together." I felt a wave of power wash over me and I stood taller. I was, after all, the one with magic and I could take this man full of hatred for my kind down in one second. But first I had to reason with him. "When blue eyes meet green that fuzzy feeling enters my soul and we stand together and fight for our freedom to express who we are no matter what. Can't you see, Arthur? We just want to be who we are. Magic isn't good or evil; it's what the person chooses to do with it. Merlin and I, we practised magic for good. Have we ever harmed Camelot?" I didn't wait for an answer - I already knew. However, I could see Arthur wasn't budging. His father's hatred ran through his veins and I knew I had to leave Camelot. "Magic can be used for good and I hope that someday you will see that. Someday you will make a great king and will rule fairly and justly. But for now, my childhood friend, I must leave."

I walked forwards but saw he was in no mood to embrace, so turned on my heel and walked briskly away, my heels clicking in the corridor and my brain whirring with what I would do next. Once I had turned the corner, I ran to my chambers and didn't look back. I gathered a few precious possessions and clothes into a large leather satchel and swapped my noisy heels for softer slippers so I could slip through the corridor unnoticed. The warning bell rang out and I knew the guards would be well on their way so I fled the site and headed straight for Gaius' chambers. Merlin must have had some sort of magic book that he learnt from that I could use when living rough.

Gaius looked in shock as I burst into his chambers. "No time to explain, don't tell anyone I've been here. I'm looking for a magic book - one that might have belonged to Merlin, maybe?" I called as I was ruffling through papers and knocking over potions to find the book.

"Why would you want it anyway, Morgana?" Gaius asked warily, obviously worried by my frantic behaviour.

"I have magic, Gaius and I need the book now!" I snapped, regretting it immediately. "Sorry, Gaius, but they're looking for me and if I'm not out of Camelot soon then I'm dead meat." I stopped and turned to the withered old man with a kind heart. "Please, Gaius. I can't survive on my own out there without knowing any spells so help me live." He paused for a second before hurrying to a floorboard and picking out a heavy-looking book.

"Please be careful with it," he sighed, looking deep into my eyes. "I wish I could have mentored you as well so you would know how to use it but it seems this is the way it has to be. Use the book wisely. There are spells in there that I couldn't wish upon anyone and ingredients for deadly poisons. Please don't be foolish. And remember who is still here. All of the people you love- don't take revenge. Please." I looked up and knew he meant it.

"Thank you Gaius, for everything," I said whilst carefully placing the book in my satchel, weighing down my bag significantly. "I will never forget this." I planted a kiss on his forehead and left, only looking back to smile at the old man who had treated and been there for me longer than I remembered. If I would miss anything, it wouldn't be the emotionless grey eyes of Uther, or the betrayal of Arthur. It would be the unnecessary kindness of Gaius and the unfailing bond we had.


	10. Too Little Too Late

**A/N: here's a longer chapter for you and *sobs* it's also the last chapter :'( Don't worry though, there's plenty more where this came from so feel free to review, follow and favourite and you can read my toher stories too! Thank you for reading and being really nice on reviews (Acchilles, xxEllieJellyxx)! Enjoy :)**

"There she is!" someone yelled down the corridor and I heard the clank of boots in the hallway- they were after me! Panic washed over me as I looked for somewhere to go, but there was nowhere- a dead end on one side and the soldiers on the other. I was trapped. As the footsteps grew nearer, my mind raced for a way to escape this chaos, but there was none. I could jump through the window, but I would die anyway. I could give myself in, but I would get burnt at the stake and die. There was no way out.

Rough hands gripped the hood of my crimson cloak as the soldiers yanked me forwards and into their secure grip. The more I struggled, the more tightly they held me. "You will let go of me this instant. I am the king's ward!" I shouted, defiance blazing in my eyes. "You'll never hurt me. I have something to live for, unlike you snivelling idiots who only act on the king's orders, not acting on what's actually right!" I continued shouting all the way to the main hall where there was an assembly waiting there for me, judging my every move and waiting for my confession. Once in the centre they shoved me onto the wooden floor at the mercy of the cold-hearted king who eyed me warily, almost showing a flicker of fear in his grey eyes.

"Do you confess?" he said simply, I suppose he was surprised by the fact that I was a sorceress. I glared back defiantly; hatred hopefully blazing in my eyes as I looked upon the man who made my kind feared and had killed almost all of them.

"I am a sorceress. I have magic. And I use it for good, Uther. Only for good." His eyes widened as realisation dawned on him. I made the most of his silence and continued. "Many innocent people died because of your hatred of magic. You're nothing but a hypocrite and a liar and-"

"Restrain her," he ordered cold-heartedly and guards came up behind me and put a rotten, mouldy rag in my mouth. "All in the court have witnessed this confession. You, Morgana, will be burnt at the stake at dawn tomorrow. Take her to the dungeons." I managed to manipulate my mouth to free myself of the rag.

"At least if I die tomorrow, I will die with dignity. People will come to pay respects. But you, Uther Pendragon, no one will mourn you! You are blinded by anger and spite and cold-heartedness. You are the villain here, old man!" I screamed as I was dragged backwards through the great oak doors, leaving silence behind me. Before the doors close I saw shock register on the people's faces as they realised that Uther Pendragon was nothing but a lunatic; he would kill his own ward just to stop magic.

I was heaved into the stinking cell and left to rot there until the morning. As I lay on the cold stone floor, I thought a lot. I knew I wasn't scared of dying, it was just... I didn't know. I would miss Camelot and Gaius and even Arthur. Despite myself, I might have even missed Uther. But only when he was in a good mood, mind. As the moon shone through the impenetrable metal bars I found myself dozing, but not wanting to dream the night away. I wanted to remember everything exactly how it was and not waste my time. They offered me bits of bread and water but I refused- an empty stomach makes me more on edge, and I would need it for the long night ahead...

* * *

"Come on, Morgana!" Arthur shouted from across the room. I looked up from playing with my dolls to see the blonde-haired boy eagerly awaiting my presence. Once I had tucked my dolls safely underneath the cover I strode over to him, nearly tripping on my new dress I had bought in the market the day before. As I was adjusting the purple satin I saw a glove drop to the floor and looked up at Arthur in surprise.

"You're challenging me to a duel?" I taunted. Last time I had won 10-0 so there wasn't really much competition.

"I wish for a chance to redeem myself as I wasn't... feeling well..." Yeah right, Arthur Pendragon. You were beaten by a girl. _Face it. _However, I didn't say this and bent down to pick up the glove. "Great! Meet me by the knight's training grounds in ten minutes. Race you!" he called as he fled out of the door. As quickly as I could I changed into more suitable attire without the help of my maid- she wouldn't be quick enough. I ran out onto the grounds to fin Arthur waiting for me already.

"That's not fair!" I whined. "You had an unfair advantage." He laughed and tossed me a sword- one of the finest, shiniest and sharpest ones in the stand.

"You can use this one today. Privilege," he said as he pulled out his own, his icy blue eyes never leaving my own. "So, what's the tactic today, Morgana?" he asked as we circled eachother, waiting for the other to attack.

"Oh, I suppose it will be the one where your own clumsiness gets the better of you," I smiled, wiping the grin off his face. After a short battle and a couple of clashes of swords I can him on the floor at the mercy of the finest, shiniest and sharpest sword in the stand. "Glad you picked this one, eh?" I asked, boasting about my victory which seemed to be an almost daily occurrence. Arthur sighed heavily.

* * *

"Thank you for attending the feast, Morgana," Uther smiled warm-heartedly at me. "I know how upset you've been of late." I had been drowning in tears when I heard the news that my favourite knight- Sir Harlington- had been killed when patrolling the borders. "I was hoping it would cheer you up."

Uther had set out a lavish feast with jugglers and dancers and jesters and music form only the best just to make a teenage girl feel better. I looked into his kind eyes and saw the man that I hoped would stay; a kind-hearted, warm, caring individual who would give anything to help anyone.

* * *

"I'm er, Guinevere, my lady. But most people call me Gwen. I am your new maid, and if there's anything I could help you with, I would be most willing." A soft voice entered my chambers and I turned from combing my hair to see my new maid standing in the doorway wearing a sunshine yellow dress (a colour that I soon found to match her personality). Within hours we were sitting on my bed chatting away as if we'd known each other for years and I knew there was a true friend in her. I just knew that she was someone special that I could confide in and trust.

* * *

And then, I suppose, Merlin came and never went. As I sat in the unfriendly cell that night, I knew he was still with me, watching down on me with Gwen. Soon I would join them. _Soon, my friends. _The bell rang for dawn and I shuddered as a cold wind swept around the dusty room. A grim-faced guard approached the cell, looking slightly wary and I knew that word had spread fast.

"It's time," he said solemnly, and a clatter came from the lock as he swung open the rusty door. Firm hands grabbed my arms as the guard dragged me unceremoniously outside. I passed through the dungeons, never to see them again. I saw the white bricks of the corridors I would never run through again. I was led through the market that I would never browse through at leisure again. Rope tied me to a wooden pole and I was stuck fast- never to be free to do anything again.

I searched the crowd of guilty looking people for an even guiltier face- Arthur's. I glared at him and he stared back, taking in the whole situation but nothing could be done about it now- he would forever and always be the traitor that betrayed his best friend. I wanted so much for him to feel the blame.

The black glove on Uther's hand signalled for the straw at my feet to be lighted and suddenly I felt warmth beneath my toes. I continued to glare at Arthur, taking out my pain on his guilty soul. Trying to avoid me, he looked away, but he could still feel my eyes bore into him.

I glanced at Uther, his cold grey eyes showing no sign of mercy. Only revenge. I tried to remember the kind man who once ruled that body all those years ago, but he had faded along with the friendship between Arthur and me. Flames licked around my feet and I felt sudden hot surges of pain in my ankles. Suddenly, I wanted more than anything to be out of there, but knew that it had to be done. I couldn't escape my own destiny. Angry sparks flew up at my face, the flames roaring in my ears. A scream sounded and I looked around only to realise it was my scream. Tears flooded my eyes and sobs racked my body- did I have to die this way? But it had to be done. Pain shot up my legs and through my back, then slowly, excruciatingly edged its way down my arms. Flames reflected in the eyes of Arthur Pendragon as I pleaded with him, tears streaming down my face, screams emitting from me until my voice was hoarse.

I saw a flash in front of me and Arthur ran forward, shouting at the guard to put it out, climbing on to the stake to try and get me off, but it was no use, the flames already engulfed me. Suddenly a surge of people overpowered the guards and ran towards me, trying to let me free, but it was too late. The last things I saw were Arthur's frantic blue eyes.

All is black.

All is numb.

The burning has subsided now as I sit with my knees drawn up, the inky blackness threatening to swallow me. This is not what I imagined heaven to be like. I thought Merlin would be here. And Gwen and Sir Harlington. I didn't think I would be so alone like this - trapped in a silent prison where I can see no light, no happiness. Terror reigns here. Hours pass - or are they days? - before I decide to finally lift myself up. I walk about a bit - stretching my legs and trying to find someone in this inky blackness.

"Hello?" I call and an echo bounces off... whatever it is. I wait for it to subside before I hear another sound.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" I hear a male voice come from behind me so turn on my heel and reach my arms forward - this person could be five metres away or five miles - who knows?

"Hello?" a female voice calls from to my right.

"Is anybody there? Help me!" a little girl screams.

"I-I don't know where I am," a male voice says with an air of terror.

"Please get me out of here!" a child screams. A chorus of echoes and new voice join together to create a chaotic symphony of the voices of the dead. The sounds reverberate from the walls and make the sound even louder - piercing screams hurt my ears and suddenly I need to return to my sitting position with hands over my ears, blocking out the screams of the dead.

I don't know where I am. Please help me.


End file.
